Stress Management - A Journey Part 2

“Hoping for the best, prepared for the worst, and unsurprised by anything in between.” — Maya Angelou

A read through of this article.

Adrenaline is not a dirty word

Part Two of a series explaining how you can manage stress more effectively.

The best way for me to simply explain how adrenaline works in the body is to use some examples from my own personal experience. From time to time I will suggest you take a breath, which will help you recenter yourself as we go along.

Not long after I left school I was working in an advertising agency in the city of Sydney. Most lunchtimes I went around the corner into Glebe Point Road just off Broadway. In those days, and we are talking early 1970’s, there was a pool hall/pinball parlour about 50 metres around the corner. I had gotten quite used to going there at lunchtime and would often play one or two games of pinball. On this particular occasion, I was about halfway through my game when I was approached by a skinhead.

In the late 60’s and early 70’s, skinheads and sharpies were quite common in the inner city parts of Sydney. Some may remember the Town Hall Sharps? This was a motley group of young thugs who would hang around Town Hall train station and harass people for no good reason. If one was more of the hippy persuasion, which I was, with slightly long hair there was always the danger of something unpleasant happening.

So, back to the pinball parlour. This skinhead was a bit smaller than me but full of confidence. I learnt why later. He was dressed in the basic uniform, blue jeans held up with suspenders, Doc Martens boots, a white shirt and a very tight crewcut. Imagine if you will, a character from the 1971 movie A Clockwork Orange. I'm innocently playing my game and he begins to tell me to get off his “pinnie”. Now, in those days in Australia, if someone wanted to play a machine someone else was already playing, the etiquette was to place a 20 cent piece on the top of the pinball machine and step back while the current player finished.

That was not the case this day. The situation was quickly becoming quite unpleasant, he was getting violent and aggressive, pulling my hair and tie and swearing at me. I had studied some Judo and Olympic wrestling in my early teen years and even though I was and am a pacifist, I do believe in self-defence. The situation had rapidly escalated to the point where I felt I did have to defend myself. I turned away from the game and went to push him back. Because of an absolute lack of situational awareness on my part, I hadn't noticed his big friend who was now standing behind me. This fellow grabbed me in a wrestling hold called a full nelson.He pulled me backwards and off balance, so that my legs were quite widely spread, though my feet still touched the ground. I looked up to see a missing-toothed look of glee on this otherwise dull looking face. This was something they had done before. Meanwhile, the young fellow who had been taunting and assaulting me was lining up to deliver a huge kick to my groin. I figured that my testicles would soon be charging towards the top of my head and I was dead. Not a very appealing image.

The next thing I can remember… is that I was running around the corner from Glebe Point Road and into the Broadway lunchtime crowds. I hadn’t been kicked and the smaller skinhead was chasing me. A few metres on I ran past two policemen standing on the footpath and the little fellow stopped in his tracks. I kept going till I got back to the safety of my office.

Now is the time to take a deep breath.

I had lost a lot of hair in the process, my shirt was all dishevelled and my tie was tight around my neck at an odd angle. But I was alive. I told a couple of my workmates what had happened, I went into shock and they went looking for my attackers but didn’t find anyone.

Take a deep breath.

You might be wondering why I am telling you this story from so long ago. My main reason is to explain why I love adrenaline when it is doing what it is supposed to do and how to manage it when it is kicking in for the wrong reasons. Like any drug, if you are in control of it, things are fine. If it is in control of you, it can be a problem. More on that later.

If the sympathetic part of my autonomic nervous system had not kicked in exactly when it did, I probably wouldn’t be writing this. The Sympathetic Nervous System is responsible your body’s “fight, flight, freeze and fawn” responses. Important processes that help you in times of need, especially times of stress or danger. As you can see, it can react incredibly quickly when required. Completely unconsciously. Certainly in the situation I just described, that was the case. I didn’t even know what happened. It took over my whole being. There is a gap in my memory to this day. I have no conscious memory of what happened between the moment I saw that skinhead lining up for his kick and my conscious re-emergence running around that corner onto Broadway. I can imagine what happened, but I have no memory whatsoever how I escaped the clutches of the big thug.

Take a deep breath.

I figure the gap is between 15-25 seconds. 15 seconds to cover that distance if I was running faster than I ever have… which I probably was. I have attempted to delve into that memory on numerous occasions and can only ever come up with assumptions about what happened. No details whatsoever. This is not uncommon in high stress situations. Mainly because it is natural to react like that.

Take a deep breath.

The autonomic nervous system variously regulates a number of important bodily functions, which include, heart rate, digestion, respiratory rate, pupillary response, sexual arousal, urination and the previously mentioned Fight, Flight, Freeze and Fawn responses. Potentially, any or all of these functions could be present, depending on individual circumstances. In my case it rapidly turned from fight to flight, thankfully no freezing.

To look at it from another point of view, imagine you are watching a TV news broadcast about an accident. A number of bystanders may be interviewed. One might say something like, “ I couldn’t help myself, I had to run away.” Flight. One might say “I couldn’t help myself I had to go in and help.” I’d characterise that as positive Fight. Yet another may say “ I couldn’t do a thing, I just froze on the spot.” Freeze. There is another one, Fawn. This is what a very young puppy does when confronted by a larger dog. It will roll over on its back and waggle its legs, ostensibly saying, I am defenceless, don’t hurt me, I am not a threat. Humans do that, too. Imagine the school bully picking on someone obviously weaker than them.

Take a deep breath.

All are valid responses and will ostensibly depend on that particular person’s ability to handle the particular situation. In another situation the roles may all be altered or reversed.

When I perceived the extreme danger I was in on that sunny afternoon, my autonomic nervous system took over my body, did what it was supposed to do and helped me survive an attack. It pumped that adrenaline into my system and I was empowered to flee. I love adrenaline. It is a truly fantastic thing when it functions the way it is supposed to.

Take a deep breath.

It seems that our bodies really haven’t changed much in at least 60 or 70,000 years. Probably much longer than that. Evolution is a slow process. About 10,000 years ago, most of us would have been in caves or perhaps lean-tos. Small groups would have been gathering berries and roots and hunting large and dangerous animals. Using little more than a stick with a piece of sharpened stone attached to one end with wax and sinew, or maybe just a sharp stick and intelligence.

I have had many clients over the years who have presented with anxiety issues pertaining to public speaking. I have often heard tell of situations where someone is in a board meeting or something similar and is unexpectedly asked by their boss or another perceived authority figure to answer a question or give a report. They have frozen or had great difficulty answering the question. Even if they have managed to proceed, they later have felt overwhelmed or stressed to the point where they have considered leaving the job or finding a way to avoid such confrontations.

I was also one of those people. In my late 20’s, recently married with a two year old daughter, I was the state manager of a rapidly growing computer retail organisation. I had about 15 staff, a few of whom were nearly twice my age, working for me. As the State Manager, I was expected to do presentations for our higher level clients and was regularly finding myself in board-rooms selling our company. It used to terrify me.

Here is another story from my life to explain what I mean.

A couple of years before this, I was working for a small software company and my role was to visit dealerships and demonstrate the software we sold. This was not long after the release of the first Apple Macintosh, and I really enjoyed doing this. I was already a computer addict. Some time in 1985, my boss asked me to do a presentation at the Sydney Apple offices. He said there would be a few dealers there and implied it wasn’t really a big deal. The day of the presentation was a stinking hot summer day. I wasn’t too concerned about the presentation until I was standing outside the room. The presentation space was overflowing with people. Standing room only. I was to follow the presenters from Microsoft, two attractive, professionally attired young women. I could hear their very professional presentation and I started worrying about what I was going to do because I felt way out of my league. And this crowd.

Too soon it was my turn to present and I moved towards the computer as the presenters from Microsoft received a warm round of applause from the audience.

It was worse than I thought. There were about 70 people jammed into this space and the air conditioning was struggling on this stifling day.

Loading my software from a 3.5 inch floppy disk seemed to take forever, so I introduced myself as it did. The first Macs had tiny screens compared to what we take for granted today. It was so crowded in this tiny space that I barely had room between me and the people sitting in the front row. Finally the disk loaded and I did my presentation, forced to squeeze around in front of the computer so that everyone could see at least some of what was on screen. I was already hot and sweaty, and I noticed that my mind was racing. Also, I was speaking very quickly. I felt that my mind was going at a hundred miles an hour. I could feel my heart beating quickly. Luckily, I did know my stuff and I sped through my presentation, much faster than I would have wished. I was so pent up that by the time I completed it, I said “Thank you very much”. I exited stage right as quickly as I could. I didn’t ask if anyone had any questions or anything else. I couldn’t wait to escape.

Take a deep breath.

Outside the presentation room, a couple of people, including the women from Microsoft, congratulated me on my presentation. But I couldn’t help thinking it had gone terribly. I was expected to go to a meeting of the presenters afterwards, but all I wanted to do was get outside into the fresh air.

I did go out. The Apple campus in those days was in a relatively new industrial estate and the blocks were huge. I started walking around this block. Several times. It didn’t seem to make any difference, my whole mind and body were stressed. After about three circuits I headed back to Apple and the debrief.

Everyone else was very supportive of what I had done. The Apple reps informed us of the schedule for the road trip to follow. Brisbane, Melbourne and Adelaide over the next ten days. The more I heard, the worse I felt. I was terrified. How was I going to do this? It was one of the most unpleasant experiences of my life. How could the women from Microsoft do this? This was all they did! At that time, I couldn’t think of anything worse.

We got to Brisbane and by now I felt comfortable with the other people doing presentations and I voiced my concerns about my ability to do these presentations to the Microsoft people. They were great. They happily spent time with me, advising on presentation techniques and were generally very supportive. It hardly made a speck of difference to me. I dreaded having to do my presentation.

I forced myself into the presentation room. This time it was entirely different. There was plenty of room, we all had our own computers and could be set up before any of the dealers arrived. The air conditioning was working beautifully. I wasn’t. I couldn’t think clearly and was terrified I would make a fool of myself. The time came and I was actually quite pleased with how my presentation went, but I still felt like crap.

Take a deep breath.

Melbourne and Adelaide were much the same. Everything was smooth but I continued to feel terrible. I couldn’t work it out.

When adrenaline works properly, it’s great. When it doesn’t, well, that’s what these articles are all about.

I grew up with a father who was a Hypnotherapist. I have practised various forms of meditation and relaxation techniques since about the age of fourteen. For my age, I knew a lot about these processes and made a personal study of comparative religion and various breathing practises. Nonetheless, the situations mentioned above were both unexpected and challenging for me. So what did I do?

One day in 1987 I was driving to an appointment, listening to the radio. There was an interview with an author about his new book. It was about public speaking. He was describing how 99% of people would rather die than have to speak in public. I could really relate to that. Now days, thanks to a more inclusive and broader spectrum education system, speaking in class is more encouraged. What I was hearing in this interview was so relevant to my situation I pulled the car over and listened, engrossed.

He spoke about a variety of simple techniques to help you prepare for and deal with the stress before, during and after a presentation or speech.

I had an early Ericson mobile phone and called my client to tell them I had to postpone our appointment. Once the interview concluded, I detoured into town and found that book. Sadly, I can’t remember the title or the author’s name but I thank him for changing my life. I will go into some detail of dealing with issues of public speaking and social anxieties in a later article. I did manage to become reasonably good at presentations and have helped many clients to do the same over the years.

Take a deep breath.

Adrenaline played a key role in these experiences. One good, one not so good. Same hormone. When adrenaline does what it is supposed to do, that is, save your or someone else’s life or to deal with some risky situation, it is a wonderful thing. On the other hand, when it kicks in for the wrong reasons and causes anxiety and stress for no good reason, it can really cause long term problems.

When it is a problem, there have usually been some sensitising events that have taught our subconscious mind to react the way it does.

As we learn to understand how that affects us, we can start to do something about it. We will begin to cover some of these techniques in the next article.

In the meantime, here is a link you can begin using now to help you deal with your stress.

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